Sloshed

I was just on the phone for a little under 30 minutes with A. He asked me how come I don't drink? He's never seen me drunk. It's not surprising. The only constant in my life who was there with me (at the same event, not in the bathroom) during all the times I've gotten drunk to the point of throwing up was C. I've only thrown up twice in my life because of too much booze. Other times, I take in only as much alcohol that I know I can handle. I guess in a way, you can say I don't "let myself go."

It's not pleasant to be conscious of who you are all the time. Always acting proper. Always catching your own back. But that's what I've grown accustomed to. I could be silly. I could be green. I could be so crass I'd make your grandma blush, but all these things I am aware of. I've never reached a point where I didn't know what I was doing (save for my last relationship -- but no booze was required for that >:P).

A asked me how come I don't drink and I gave a really simple answer: it costs money. Haha! I said that to a guy who lives on a monthly paycheck equivalent to my yearly salary, I think. He countered that by saying that he doesn't see me drink a lot even when it's in his house and drinks are flowing like the storm raging outside my window right now. At least he didn't think of me as a freeloader! Haha!

But really. I take great pains to make sure I'm not crazy drunk. And it doesn't need a lot of alcohol to make me lose my inhibitions. Really. And when I drink more than the amount needed to make me lose my inhibitions, then I become quiet. I'm quiet when I'm drunk. Because I don't want anyone to know that I *am* drunk. And if I do become quiet when I'm drunk, more quiet than I already am, isn't that a perfect reason not to get drunk?