Smile like you mean it
I'm not quite sure where my life is headed, and I wanted to rant about it the other day but I held my tongue. All around me people are getting BLAHhed out, and I didn't want to add to the fray.
In our relationships with people, we are primarily "givers" to some people but primarily "receivers" to some. I suppose achieving and equal number of both kinds of friends is the wises thing to do, but it always isn't the case.
I think I'm basically more of a receiver. I've always been a sounding board since grade school. I don't know why but people were attracted to telling me secrets. I guess it's because I was quiet and reserved and they didn't think I'd tell on them. And I never did. I still feel like a sounding board sometimes with some of my friends. It gets tiring. There are days when I feel low and I rack my head for someone I can talk to but I can't think of anyone. I feel like I'm going to take too much of their time. I think they won't really listen to me. I find it so easy to listen but so difficult to talk.
Recently, I found someone I could confide in. Even if I didn't feel like complaining about my life to her, because I didn't want to drain her out, she'd ask about me still. It's nice, to be looked after like that.
During my non-single days, it used to be so easy to dump EVERYTHING on the boyfriend. Joys, sorrows, hopes, fears... I miss having that one person to share everything with, but I guess it's time for me to build networks. The problem with using just one bridge is when it falls down, you're virtually an island.
People don't like ending relationships because everything is invested in that one big bridge. Sure it's long. Sure it's wide. But there's only ONE of it.
My receiving friend told me to write about how I felt, because it's what I felt.
And now I have.
In our relationships with people, we are primarily "givers" to some people but primarily "receivers" to some. I suppose achieving and equal number of both kinds of friends is the wises thing to do, but it always isn't the case.
I think I'm basically more of a receiver. I've always been a sounding board since grade school. I don't know why but people were attracted to telling me secrets. I guess it's because I was quiet and reserved and they didn't think I'd tell on them. And I never did. I still feel like a sounding board sometimes with some of my friends. It gets tiring. There are days when I feel low and I rack my head for someone I can talk to but I can't think of anyone. I feel like I'm going to take too much of their time. I think they won't really listen to me. I find it so easy to listen but so difficult to talk.
Recently, I found someone I could confide in. Even if I didn't feel like complaining about my life to her, because I didn't want to drain her out, she'd ask about me still. It's nice, to be looked after like that.
During my non-single days, it used to be so easy to dump EVERYTHING on the boyfriend. Joys, sorrows, hopes, fears... I miss having that one person to share everything with, but I guess it's time for me to build networks. The problem with using just one bridge is when it falls down, you're virtually an island.
People don't like ending relationships because everything is invested in that one big bridge. Sure it's long. Sure it's wide. But there's only ONE of it.
My receiving friend told me to write about how I felt, because it's what I felt.
And now I have.
posted by portergirl @ 8:27 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home